"Shalom" Times Three

The word Shalom has three meanings and all three apply at this moment. As we are just a few hours for leaving on the journey of our lives, I say SHALOM in the sense of "goodbye" to my community here in Chicago. It has been an amazing experience begin part of such a thriving and growing community. I will miss SO much about this city. Even as I type these words, people are pouring into my parents' home to say L'hitraot. It is soooo sad to see my kids saying goodbye to their closest friends. It is also so beautiful to watch at the same time.

I say SHALOM in the sense of "hello" to my NEW community and country: Maale Adumim and Israel. After standing on the sidelines for 50 years and watching my beloved country grow and change, we are finally going to become part of the future of Jewish History! It is an amazing feeling to know how close we are at this moment to realizing this dream.

I say SHALOM in the sense of "peace." We are going to a location that is one of the more volatile in the world, to say the least. We ALL pray for peace...we all pray for Shalom for Israel, its citizens and the Land.

So...this Shabbat...it certainly was emotion-filled. It began with my davening Friday night at the Adas. I haven't davened there in TEN years and it was so special that so many came over to me to inquire about my dad (see later in this post) and wish us well on our move.
Friday night, we ate at my sister's and had part of the family with us, as well. Needless to say that considering our MOVE and my dad's situation this past few days, it also was an emotion-packed evening.

After a well-needed sleep, I went to yet another shul...Bais Chaim Dovid. Again, so warmly welcomed and it was so different to be HERE in Chicago and daven in a different location!

Lunch...again at my sister's with more of the family and the saying of goodbye to them...Tears flowed freely...both tears of joy and tears of sadness. I told them all, that the fact that we all get along so well makes this parting that much more difficult!

Then came what I felt would be the MOST difficult moment of all...saying L'hitraot to my parents. First, let me back up. My dad is doing SO well, Baruch Hashem!!! He looks, sounds and feels (bli ayin hara) SO great! We walked to the hospital on Shabbat to bid farewell (for a few days until we have access to Skype!). My dad gave us some wonderful words of wisdom, and we all sat and talked for a while. When it came time to say goodbye, I told my dad that I THOUGHT that this would be the most difficult goodbye of all...but the truth is that this was the EASIEST goodbye of all...WHY? Because I could look at my dad and tell him directly to his eyes how much we love him and my mom. The fact that we came so close to losing him and then to have the opportunity to say goodbye to him sitting there looking so great...well, I can never thank Hashem enough for that opportunity!!! Saying goodbye (L'hitraot) to my mom was also difficult but again...at least thank G-d BOTH are healthy and able to travel to Israel...hopefully SOON!!

Well...I think that is it for now. Time to attempt to go to sleep and awake to a "brand new day." Tomorrow we start the next phase of our lives and pray to Hashem that while we KNOW things will not be easy...at least things will not be too hard.

Off to NY in 9 hours and 40 minutes...TICK...TICK...TICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We Are Now Down to HOURS...

It is just before Shabbat. We are packed...we are pumped...we are ready to go. It is a HUGE Bracha that we have Shabbat to rest up just before we leave...we need it. It has been a VERY stressfull week but an exciting one at the same time. We are so grateful to Hashem that all has turned out so well with my dad, shlit"a, and that we are moving full speed ahead.

I have tried my best to reply to all who have emailed etc about our Aliya, my dad and just good wishes, in general. I have had literally hundreds of emails these past 3 days and appreciate each and very one of them.

On yesterday's posting, a fine young man left a very insightful comment that I want to reproduce here as it SHOULD be seen by everyone!


I don't understand why they call it a closing. I think it should be called an opening. The opening of a new chapter in your lives. As you move from this Galut-bound house to one in Israel, everything opens up, and life takes on a whole new meaning and as you close the front door behind you for the final time, may this closing open many new doors in your Aliya.
July 2, 2009 11:48 PM

I could not agree more. Amitai...thank you so very much!

I am looking forward to what I KNOW will be a very emotional Shabbat and Moztaei Shabbat...saying goodbye to family and close friends. Not "goodbye" but L'hitraot. Sad and happy at the same time...that truly is what life is all about.

Shabbat Shalom for the last time in Chicago. B'shavua Ha'ba Bi'rooshalayim (...or Maale Adumim)

36 hours...15 minutes...TICK...TICK...TICK

We are Officially Homeless in Chicago!

As of 11:30am local time, my family became homeless. Before you start to pity us, keep in mind that this was THE last major step before leaving on Aliya on Sunday for our NEW home on the other side of the Ocean. I must say that it was an extremely emotional morning for me on two levels. First and foremost was finding out that my dad's condition had dramatically improved. Baruch Hashem, he looked great, was sitting for a little in a chair and talking up a storm. The second reason was the closing on our home. We have lived in this home for 23 1/2 years. We raised our girls here, and all of our life-decisions, discussions, good times and bad focused on the home. As we were driving to the closing, I reviewed many of these milestones in our lives that happened in the house and I began to feel quite emotional. It is not a car...it is not a book...this is where we lived our LIVES. It made me sad...and excited to understand what this sale meant.

Last night, we moved about 95% of the remaining items from the house to my parent's home...including ALL of the luggage...oy, is it going to be fun shlepping all of this!!!

I want to thank all of those who have taken the time to call, email etc about my dad. It is incredible to see the Yad Hashem. While I know I made a similar comment yesterday, one can NEVER adequately thank Hashem for all the chessed shown to a person!

We now are at the threshold of the door awaiting the last Shabbat and subsequent beginning of the journey to NY and beyond. I am so exhausted...I am so tired...I am so excited...I am so nervous.

And what would this blog be without the countdown:

2 days...13 hours and 45 minutes...TICK...TICK...TICK...!!

Life

Life is very strange. Sometimes we do not fully appreciate it. I got a full dose of that, these past 24 hours.

As we wind down, these last few days were supposed to have focused on closing things up and moving to my parents. As the saying goes, "Man plans and G-d laughs." As many of you are aware, my father was rushed to the hospital on Tuesday afternoon with a condition that was not easily discernible. As the evening progressed, his situation deteriorated more and more. Things did not look too good, so I consulted with Dr. Jerry Noble, the ER doctor (mensch and great guy, and my former Madrich in Mosh!) who suggested Tehillim at this point. I sent out my own plea for Tehillim as did many other people with large lists. My daughters, nieces and some of their friends went to the Shul to recite the entire book of Tehillim. The outpouring of emails, tehillim, phone calls, text messages etc was overwhelming to me. I was hearing from people all over the world.

As the night wore on, I needed to get back home to continue our final stages of packing and to collapse into bed for SOME sleep. Needless to say, I did not sleep very well: thinking about my dad...thinking about finishing up on the house...thinking about the house closing on Thursday...thinking...thinking...thinking. And praying the phone would not ring in the middle of the night.

Thank G-d the phone did NOT ring in the middle of the night. Instead, my sister called in the early morning with some good news...BP was up and he was looking a bit better. However, we still did not know what the source of the infection was!

My day was spent going back and forth to the hospital for short times, visiting the dentist (!) for a much needed repair before Aliya,dropping things off at my parents, bringing things back to the places from where we borrowed items, getting the pants I needed altered (after losing 35 pounds BH...on purpose over the past 8 months), going to the bank...and that was all before 5pm!

As pressure kept building, there was a ray of hope. Seems that the test my dad took mid-afternoon may indeed hold the key. Within an hour of this test (no medical details here), it became clear that the doctors had indeed located the source of the infection and did what was necessary to remove the cause. At present, he is resting comfortably, albeit not doing 100%...but MUCH better than 24 hours ago. (When I told him that the hairplugs the doctors tried to put in did not "take," he managed a smile!)

So...I am praying that the only excitement of the next 24 hours is the closing on our home. I do not think I could handle more than that right now. Then, it will almost be time for our last Shabbat here in Chicago...spent with most of the family...and more than likely a stroll on Shabbat to visit my dad.

I WANT TO THANK ALL OF THOSE WHO DAVENED, SAID TEHILLIM, CALLED, MESSAGED, ETC ETC...I acknowledge all the working of Hashem in this and thank Hashem from the bottom of all of our hearts. May He repay the kindness to you, that you have shown my dad and our entire family.

Uh oh...I just looked at the clock...we are really about to make Aliya! From now, it is another 3 days 14 hours and 4 minutes until we leave the city. TICK...TICK...TICK!!!!!!!

The Beginning of the "Goodbyes"...

There has been one aspect of the Exodus from Chicago that I have not been looking forward to and that is the saying of goodbye to close friends and family. Tonight that process began. There was a family BBQ for both sides of our families to wish us well and say L'Hitraot. It was difficult to say goodbye to many, ESPECIALLY considering that it is quite possible that unless they come to visit in Israel, we may never see each other again. THAT is a sobering thought..one that makes this move more "tactile." Then, since my brother and sister-in-law are leaving town tomorrow, we had to say our goodbyes tonight. NOT AN EASY FETE!!! It was NOT real...we are not leaving...I am not saying goodbye because I refuse to say the word "goodbye." I merely say L'hitraot, au revoir, till we see each other again. And seeing each other again, at least in a pixellated form via Skype, can happen fairly soon.

We are told that the Land of Israel is acquired with tests/trials and tribulations. We tend to think of those tests occurring IN ISRAEL...not true! These tests begin BEFORE YOU EVEN LEAVE CHUTZ LA"ARETZ...and we are going through those tests now. These are not tests that you can study for and no one can prepare you for these emotional last few days. BUT, I will say that I am very glad that we will not have to go through the entire goodbye "scene" in NY, as we do not have relatives there to come to the airport. It is tough enough doing that HERE.

Time for sleep...time to get ready for our last few days in the house. Is this really about to happen? Are we really about to head out and begin that journey to Israel, our historical and spiritual home?

I just hope we can pass all the tests that we will be taking...

Countdown: 6 days, 10 hours and 33 minutes...TICK...TICK...TICK!!!

A Tough Shabbat

It is now about one hour after Shabbat has ended. I still am in a bit of a fog looking back over this Shabbat, as it was my last as Rav of KJBS. In what was a very emotional day, I gave my last speech (see below), gave my last Dvar Torah at Seudah Shlisheet and gave my last class (after 10 years) of Mishne Berura. I found myself MANY times over this Shabbat reminiscing about the last 10 years and the various speeches, incidents, happy times and sad times. I truly can not believe that this has come to an end. While it is a day I had long anticipated, I did not know exactly how I would feel today. I also had no way of predicting how people would "feel" today nor how the reactions would be.

Giving the speech was a most surreal experience and I still do not believe I am past that point already. It was quite emotional for me, and I "kept it together" for most of the time. While I could give a lot of other insight into my feelings and thoughts of this day, I think that it would be TOO personal a reflection, so I have chosen to merely post the speech in its entirety below, instead.

One note...I was SO overwhelmed by the number of people in Shul this morning and how many came for this Shabbat who do not daven here....only to share in the experience of the last Shabbat! I appreciate everyone who was there!
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Who would have thought that on January 22, 1972, when I celebrated my Bar Mitzva and spoke at this very pulpit, that one day I would be standing up here saying goodbye to the Shul I so love!
Allow me today to make my remarks as personal as possible. Please forgive me in advance if I find it difficult to say some of these words today, as it is one of the most difficult speeches that I have ever had to give. The truth is that I have been writing this speech in my head for the last couple of months, in anticipation of this morning.

I find it hard to believe that I stood before you exactly two years ago this Shabbat to announce our Aliya. Many questioned why I went public so early, and I told them then that the time would fly by. Little did I know HOW fast the time would truly go.

Before I make some parting remarks, I want to share with you a Dvar Torah that I feel is quite appropriate for today.
If we look at the Parasha of LAST week, the parasha dealing with the Meraglim and then look at today’s parasha, we see clearly that there is a common denominator to both...one that may NOT seem so clear on the surface: That common denominator is the power and potential of the INDIVIDUAL. Let’s look back to last week.

Out of the hundreds of thousands of men, Moshe Rabbeinu sent 12 men to check out the Land of Canaan. Twelve...not a platoon..not a garrison...twelve men. These 12 men return and ten of them give a scathing report about the Land...it’s no good...it eats its inhabitants. Based on the testimony, as it were, of these 10 people, the Torah tells us:
וַתִּשָּׂא כָּל־הָעֵדָה וַֽיִּתְּנוּ אֶת־קוֹלָם וַיִּבְכּוּ הָעָם בַּלַּיְלָה הַהֽוּא
The entire nation cried about this report. They had been totally and overwhelmingly influenced by the statements of these spies...but they were just 10 people! This land that G-d had promised to Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov...suddenly, this land was sub-par and not worth inherting, all due to their perceptions.
The scene, so to speak, shifts to Kalev ben Yefuneh. When he opens his mouth, everyone listens to him as well. But how does he “get their attention”? As rashi tells us:
צווח ואמר, וכי זו בלבד עשה לנו בן עמרם, השומע היה סבור שבא לספר בגנותו, ומתוך שהיה בלבם על משה בשביל דברי המרגלים שתקו כלם לשמוע גנותו, אמר, והלא קרע לנו את הים והוריד לנו את המן והגיז לנו את השליו
The people were all MORE than willing to be swayed by more “dirt” on Moshe. Potentially swayed and again, merely by one person.
And back up a minute! When the Meraglim went to Canaan in the first place, we see Moshe daven for Kalev...just Kalev...that he should not fall prey to the influence of the others. But Kalev was just one man.

Look at the END of last week’s parasha: Miriam speaks Lashon Hara about her brother Moshe. Do you think for a minute that NO ONE had spoken Lashon Hara in ALL of the Bnei Yisrael besides Miriam!?! Were they such big tzadikim?? Yet, the Torah, due to her position and familial connection spends a number of Psukim on this incident...to such an extent that we look at this particular incident to teach us certain rules about Lashon Hara. BUT...Miriam was just one person!

And look at today’s reading: ONE MAN...Korach...he is able to foment the very first uprising and potential schism in the Jewish people. As the Midrash tells us, he went around like a modern day politician trying to rally the troops all night long before his showdown with Moshe and Aharon.

Rashi:
בדברי ליצנות, כל הלילה ההוא הלך אצל השבטים ופתה אותם, כסבורין אתם שעלי לבדי אני מקפיד, איני מקפיד אלא בשביל כלכם, אלו באין ונוטלין כל הגדולות, לו המלכות ולאחיו הכהונה, עד שנתפתו כלם
"All night long, Korach tried to win the shvatim over. All night
He swayed hundreds of people to rise up against MOSHE! Again, he was one guy...not a platoon...not a garrison...one guy.

And the truth is that if you look ahead over the next few weeks, you see this pattern continue! We learn about Bilaam, who seems to have the power to curse or to bless an entire nation; we see Pinchas single-handedly stand up for the honor of the Jewish people and the honor of Hashem and have such a profound impact that Hashem rewards him by making him a KOHEN!

And why is it that we seem to see these narratives one after the other at this juncture in the Torah? Because the Jews were on the verge of entering the land...twice! Once, based on the original timing promised in Mitzrayim. Then--as we go further into Sefer Bamidbar and then into Devarim--the second time as the next generation is actually poised to enter.
It is precisely at these junctures that we need to see the power of the individual. While they travelled in the dessert, they were one large nation with no official “territory.” BUT, they would now be entering the Land of Canaan and each be given their “turf.” After that, the charge would have been to build the Bet HaMikdash. At that point, there could have been all kinds of feelings by individuals that they are now part of some huge “corporation” and would lose their identity as they become a part of a more segmented population. “I live in the area of Dan and YOU live in the area of Nafatli...I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in YOUR area!” Each one’s individual identity potentially could become more and more DILUTED at this point.
It was for this reason, in my opinion, that the Torah gives us SO many narratives at this point about the influence of the individual. However, while giving us these pictures, we also learn an even greater lesson: it is when the INDIVIDUAL works WITH the population and not AGAINST the population that he is most succesful. Yes, says Hashem, you are an individual and you CAN influence my people (YES YOU CAN!)...but it needs to be on MY terms and following MY rulebook...then and only then will you be successful as you enter the Land of Canaan as my people.
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Congregation KJBS is about to enter its next phase of congregational life. KJBS is about to move to new ground. It may be that some people will sit back and be satisfied with the status quo. Some may feel that they have nothing to contribute, after all “I am only one person.” I think that this is exactly the point of these multiple narratives of individuals.

Each of you, here at KJBS, CAN indeed make a difference. While this sounds like a speech that can be given at the begining of the tenure of a Rabbi, I am actually using this concept as I take leave of the Shul.

The Gemara in Brachot says:
אל יפטר אדם מחבירו אלא מתוך דבר הלכה, שמתוך כך זוכרהו.
While what I am saying today may not SEEM like Halacha, I feel that indeed it is. It is the Halacha that helps to encourage the Kedushat bet HaKenesset and its growth as a Makom Torah. If I am not remembered for anything else at KJ, I hope that I will be remembered as someone who encouraged each and every individual to make his or her mark on this Mikdash M’at.

Which brings me to the toughest part of the speech today...the “good-bye” aspect. While I know I will stay in touch with many of you and that I will hopefully see many of you in our new home in Israel, I also know that this coming week may be the last time I see many of you. It also marks my last speech at this pulpit.

Over the last 10 years, I have given well over 1000 speeches here and outside the shul. I have tried to teach, instruct, educate, enlighten, guide and uplift all of the members and members of the Chicago Jewish community. I have made every effort to do all of this to the best of my ablility. There have been mistakes that I have made along the way and for those publicly ask you all for Mechilla. But at the same time, it is very gratifying to see all of the GOOD that we have accomplished together.

I am sad and I am excited.
I am happy and I am nervous.
I am in turmoil, yet I am at peace.

This is a natural outgrowth of the monumental move we are about to embark upon by making Aliya. I am leaving behind family, friends, community and students.

While I never looked upon my position as one of POWER, I do hope that in some measure, I was able to INFLUENCE some of you over the years towards greater Avodat HaShem. The truth is that MY life has been greatly enhanced by knowing each and every one of you. In one way or another, the contact I have had with all of YOU has greatly influenced ME. It has been a good “shidduch,” and it has been one that has been symbiotic. The respect that has been shown to me has been greatly appreciated and the warmth I have felt here in these walls has been overwhelming Yes, it has been a good run.

But now the time has come to say L’Hitraot.

I look at today as merely a separation by LAND, WATER and DISTANCE...not the end of friendship or of mutual respect. While you will be served by a new Rav in the near future, always know that I am a phone call, email or Skype call away. I believe that your new Rav, Rabbi Leibtag, will be only as succesful as YOU allow him to be through YOUR input into what the shul needs to grow to the next level. Please know that you all have a standing invitation to our home in Maale Adumim...but maybe spread out the visits!

To your new Rav, Rabbi Leibtag, I quote the words of Moshe Rabbenu speaking to Yehoshua bin Nun:
כג וַיְצַו אֶת־יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בִּן־נוּן וַיֹּאמֶר חֲזַק וֶֽאֱמָץ כִּי אַתָּה תָּבִיא אֶת־בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶל־הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר־נִשְׁבַּעְתִּי לָהֶם וְאָֽנֹכִי אֶהְיֶה עִמָּֽךְ:

Rabbi Leibtag, may Hashem be with you as you lead this congregation in your Melechet HaKodesh. May He see fit to shower His manifold blessings on you and your family and give you the Chizuk, the inner fortitude to act B’derech Hashem, as you walk into the future with this fine membership.

Allow me to close with the words of thanks and a Bracha to this shul and its members. I know that I said some of this at the dinner, but it truly bears repeating.

I want to thank you for taking a chance on a guy who had no pulpit experience and for enabling me to have the MOST rewarding 10 years of my entire life as your Rav. I want to thank the officers, the board and all of the members for making this my home away from home. Thank you to my parents, siblings, nephews and nieces for davening here in spite of the fact that I was rabbi and for not giving me TOO hard a time of it. Thank you to my three beautiful daughters for whom I live and whom I cherish with every breath I take. And finally, thank you to my Eishet Chayil, Andy.

We have shared some good times, and we have shared some sad times together. Together we have witnessed some of the worst that man has to offer, such as 9/11 and some of the best that man has to offer, such as how the world came out in full force to help survivors of the great Tsunami in Southeast Asia in 2004. While life is indeed a series of good and bad things that happen, I can only pray that the future holds for ll of you MANY more positive events and smachot and very little in the way of the negative and sad events.

--The time has come for me to go “home.”
--The time has come to write the next chapter in the book of the Shandalov family.

--The time has come to begin anew.

It has been my pleasure...my honor...and my privilege to have served for the past ten years as the Rav of Congregation Kehilath Jacob Beth Samuel.

I wish each and every one of you the best of luck in all that you do...and may Hashem be with you every step of the way.

Shabbat Shalom!

CAUTION: Your Future is Closer than It May Appear

I was driving in my car the other day, when I glanced at my sideview mirror and began to smile to myself. As do many mirrors, this mirror was stenciled with the words "CAUTION: Objects in Mirror are Closer Than They Appear!" The meaning of this pithy little statement is that the mirror distorts the image somewhat and you might THINK you have more time to react to a car or truck, etc, indeed you may have LESS time as the object is truly closer than it seems.



And that is when I smiled to myself. This Shabbat marks exactly two years since we went public with the news of our impending Aliya. At the time, it seemed SO far away. And even as recently as a few weeks ago, it still seemed off in the distance. At times, our future appeared to me like a mirage in the desert...it was there but it was ephemeral. It still seemed so far off in the distance, that I still had some time to breath.



Well, that is no longer the case! Over the next few days, we will experience our last Shabbat in our house (tonight and tomorrow); our last few days in the house and the move over to my parents' home. We will experience giving a final cleaning to the house (if only the house were this empty just before Pesach!!). We will experience both the joy of moving on and the melancholy of saying goodbye to our home of the last 23 1/2 years. Yes, our future indeed IS much closer than it appears.



I find myself filled with so many conflicting emotions this morning. I think that what is helping to magnify that is the fact that I give my last Shabbat speech this week...for all those in the area, you are all invited at 8:30am this Shabbat to hear this final speech and join us for Kiddush afterwards. I look forward to greeting you personally.



Oh my Gosh! The future really, truly is closer than I thought! The countdown is in SINGLE DIGITS!!

9 days...1 hour...8 minutes...TICK...TICK...TICK...whoah!